The NHL's Faceoff Rules

Dear NHL,

I'm starting to think this whole drop-the-puck-whether-they're-ready-or-not-on-faceoffs thing is wrong.  It looks stupid and creates chances out of artificial situations.  It feels about as phony as a shootout.  And we know the NHL would never do something as audacious as end games with something as phony as a shootout...  (Oh wait, nevermind.)

I mean, c'mon, you would never see a one-man tipoff in the NBA, would you?  It's silly and unprofessional.  I'd much rather see this kind of delay added to the list of face-off infractions which would lead to the center being ejected from the circle and a possible penalty for multiple infractions.

Respectfully yours,
--Jeff Eiben

PS - Outlawing all head shots, intent or no intent, would be a good idea.

PPS - Please get rid of the blackout rules for Gamecenter LIVE so I can get rid of my horribly overpriced television service.

PPPS - Please get rid of all blackout rules for the Atlanta area.  Haven't those poor people lost enough without being able to watch the next closest teams on CenterIce and Gamecenter???

My Most Memorable NHL Playoff Moments

I love this time of year.  The temperatures are warming up and the kids are shaking loose of their cabin fever; getting the bicycle tuned-up and hitting the trails after a long, inactive winter; and, of course, the NHL playoffs are getting underway.

These are the reasons I love this time of year.  The following is an unordered list of my most memorable NHL playoff moments:

• The Save.
• Super Mario parting the North Stars' D like the Red Sea.
• 8-0 win for the Penguins first Stanley Cup.
• The shoulders of Ronnie Franchise carrying the team after Graves' slash breaks Lemieux's hand.
• Kevin Stevens' guarantee.
• 11 straight wins to capture the Penguins second Stanley Cup.
• Kevin Stevens' face shattered as he hits the ice unconscious, Ron Francis' tying goal, and David F%$%#$ Volek.
• Kaspar's sliding on his belly and the team piling on after his Game 7 OT winner against the Sabres.
• Mario's "final" goal at home.  Hollywood couldn't have written a better script.
• The post-handshake, "final" ovation and the chants of "Mar-i-o!"  At the Philadelphia Spectrum!!!
• Joe Sakic defers and Ray Bourque lifts his first and only Stanley Cup.
• Petr Nedved beats the Capitals in 4 overtimes.
• Keith Primeau finally ends it at 2:30am, 7 hours after the opening faceoff.
• Max ties Game 5 in the final seconds and Petr Sykora calls his shot in OT.
• The Cup is finally awarded on Mellon Arena ice as the Red Wings take Game 6 in the Penguins barn.
• Max Talbot silences the Flyers.
• Alex Ovechin and Sidney Crosby trade hat tricks.
• Marc Andre Fleury stones Alex Ovechkin, crushing the Capitals hopes in Game 7.
• Evgeni Malkin dominates the Hurricanes, including a hat trick capped off by a move that can only be described as "The Geno."
• The Penguins get the rematch they wanted as the Red Wings finish off the Blackhawks.
• Game 6 - The crowd chants "Fleur-y!" as a show of support for the goalie that got pulled in the previous game; Jordan Staal's shortie; Tyler Kennedy's game winner; Fleury stopping Cleary on a breakaway; and Rob "The Piece" Scuderi stopping everything.
• Game 7 - The captain goes down, but "Superstar" Max Talbot responds; "The Save, Pt. 2" and Sidney raises the cup.
• The worst way to close the Igloo.

A Message to All You Matt Cooke Haters

I'm completely sick of hearing about how I lack the right to complain about the antics of one Trevor Gillies because I'm a Penguins fan and my team employs Matt Cooke.  Below is an interaction I had with a friend via everyone's favorite social media outlet.  It began after seeing Trevor Gillies hit on Cal Clutterbuck last night.

My original post:

Now is the time for the NHL to make a statement. If Gillies sees another game this season I'm going to vomit!!!

My friend's reply:

Not sure how a pens fan can make a comment like this with matt cooke on the roster

My reply:

Oh, horseshit!!! Once again, Matt Cooke has absolutely nothing to do with this. Nor does being a Pens fan. But if we must...

Matt Cooke is a valuable player. He is part of the top PK line on the top PK team in the league. He leads the NHL in short handed points. He is an exceptional agitator that gets under other players' skins and makes it difficult for them to keep their heads in games. In 60 games played this season, he is averaging 15:43 minutes of ice time and has a total of 110 penalty minutes. Yes, he crosses the line from time to time and he deserves the discipline he receives when he does. The Marc Savard situation is unfortunate and I think the hit was negligent. But there have been, before and since, much worse acts that are much less recognized because the effects were much less substantial. Cooke's reputation suffers because of that one hit.

Trevor Gillies is an out and out goon. He serves his team in no valuable capacity. Since the beginning of his junior hockey career he has 16 goals and 47 assists for 63 points in 775 hockey games. In that same span he has 3,302 penalty minutes. In 33 NHL games played this season he is averaging 2:52 minutes of ice time and has a total of 124 penalty minutes. Gillies blatantly attacked Eric Tangradi from across the ice, delivering a forearm to the head against the glass and following through with a right to the face. Then when Tangradi is obviously injured (and still is to this day), Gillies grabs him and starts wailing on him until Craig Adams had to tackle him. After Gillies was escorted from the ice he stood in the runway, screaming at and taunting Tangradi until the trainers could help Tangradi off the ice. For this he gets a 9-game suspension, which is way too little if you ask me. Then last night 3 shifts into his return from suspension, he does it again. He took offense to a hit Cal Clutterbuck made, which was called boarding at the time, so Gillies ran Clutterbuck. Once again with a forearm to the head against the glass and a follow through left to the face. He got 5 minutes and a game misconduct for a blatant hit from behind that targeted the head with intent to injure.

So you tell me how these two guys are at all the same, because I just can't see it.

For the record, I am a hockey fan, first and foremost. Trevor Gillies is a danger to everyone around him when he steps on the ice and I find it disgusting that his teammates, coaches, and organization can find a basis on which to defend him.

The NHL needs to do something about this before someone gets killed on the ice. Steve Moore almost did, but Todd Bertuzzi is still playing. I at least thought a lesson was learned from that mess, especially by the league, but apparently not.